I think I have a better idea of it now, though, at least enough that I feel comfortable enough to pick them, write them, and share them.
1. Re-boot my self confidence: I don't know entirely why, but my self-image and confidence took a real beating last semester. It's never been horrid, but it's never been immaculate either. So, I'm going to take all the steps I know, and I actually decided today to go see the people at women's services. I was just reading an article online, and I just decided, with no previous idea to do so, to go talk to someone there. My appointment is for later today. In the meantime, I'll put up pictures of women who inspire me, and a picture of myself, in a collage on my wall above my makeup station. That way, I will start to picture myself as on their level.
Here are some possible candidates for my inspiration wall:
Emmy Rossum
She is my favorite Christine Daae, always will be. She's a great actress, a phenomenal singer, and her smile just radiates.
Alex Kingston
The immortal River Song. She is so hardcore as River, she DIVORCED Voldemort (technically Ralph Fiennes before he played the Dark Lord, but still). Beautiful, sassy, and she keeps her curly hair. FINALLY someone who has shown me I can be freaking gorgeous with my own natural curls.
Natalie Portman
She's freaking smart! She has double US-Israeli citizenship, a BA in Psychology from Harvard--famously saying she'd much rather be smart than famous--and she sticks up for what she believes. While she was at Harvard, she wrote a letter to the editor in response to an article about the conflict between Palestine and Israel. Here is my favorite part:
Israelis and Arabs are historically cousins. Until we accept the fact that we are constituents of the same family, we will blunder in believing that a loss for one “side”—or, as Chaudhry names it, a “color”—is not a loss for all human kind.
Outrageous and untrue finger-pointing is a childish tactic that disregards the responsibility of all parties involved, including Europe, the Arab nations and the United States, along with Israel and the Palestinian Authority.
We must be ashamed of every act of violence and mourn every child as if they were our own. I pray for the safety of all those in the region and hope that we may someday use our unique human assets of language and empathy rather than military technology or propaganda to resolve this conflict.
Not only is she open-minded and fair, she's eloquent. And that picture was taken while she was pregnant, accepting her Best Actress Oscar for Black Swan.
Anne Hathaway
Because the only difference in our complexions is (1) I have freckles, and (2) eye color, I've always looked to her for style inspiration. I saw her wearing grey eye shadow in Get Smart and copied that look for my own grey look. But that's not the only reason. I forget his name, but she was dating this Italian real-estate developer who was involved in some shady stuff and went to prison. Like me, she's misjudged people. But she is still beautiful and successful, moving on and having a great life. Also, can I just say that I called her being cast as Catwoman/Selina Kyle back when The Dark Knight first came out?
Idina Menzel
An amazing actress with a fantastic voice, and I'm told I look like her. She followed her dreams and it worked, which is a good reminder for me. She's strong and unafraid, and nobody messes with her. Plus, I think her little boy that she had with Taye Diggs is adorable.
2. Write more of my own stuff to take a break from school: I hardly wrote anything during fall semester and it left me rather drained. I noticed, however, that I'm happier when I write regularly and this year is about making things better, happier, for myself and my friends.
I'm working on a cookbook, some novels, and catching up my journal. And of course I'll be blogging more often now.
3. Get in shape: there are actually multiple reasons for this one.
Yes, I am a freaking gorgeous individual. But I could stand to be slimmer and more svelte, the better to highlight my assets.
Not to mention that I would like to be healthy, and besides the whole metabolism thing, I read a lot of history.
Like me, Teddy Roosevelt had asthma. But he cured himself by spending time building up his lungs. He spent months running cross-country to strengthen them, kind of like training his lungs to bench-press more air. I'm not saying I know it will work for me.
4. Remember who I am.
Yes, this is about getting back to who I really am. On the one hand, I refuse to squelch myself to please anyone ever again.
But, this is also getting back to my divine roots. I'm going to read the entire Book of Mormon by July, and get more in touch with my divine nature. More service, more Temple time, more of anything I can do to grow closer to my Heavenly father
5. Read more:
What happens when a bookworm makes friends with other bookworms? Her recommended reading list gets longer and longer. So my goal for this summer is to read at least half the books on that list and become more well-read.
I don't really have a long list. Maybe it will be longer next year.
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