The other day, I began musing on the meaning of success and whether or not I was achieving it. After careful meditation on the semester and my own feelings, I determined that I was succeeding after all, but this semester had taken a bit of a toll on me, and that I wasn't doing enough of what I love most...writing. After further consideration, I decided to consult the ceiling of the Tanner Building.
The Tanner Building, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the BYU campus, is the business school. It is a modern-looking building, and the ceiling is made of glass supported by tessellating steel triangles, so you can see the weather outside like the ceiling at Hogwarts. It is also very echo-y, and there are three lightly trickling fountains. It is a tranquil building, and I go there often to think about life by staring at that ceiling while I wait for Hailey, a bestie, and Donovan, my wonderful boyfriend, to get out of the Book of Mormon class they have together.
As I stared up at that ceiling, I thought about what I had taken in that day and I realized that what I needed was a sabbatical. I also realized that I really wanted a Cherry Icee.
Most of you probably know what a Cherry Icee is, but sabbatical isn't a term used often, at least anymore. I didn't hear it until Rex Harrison sang it in a lyric of My Fair Lady.
A sabbatical is defined, for my purpose, as " any extended period of leave from one's customary work, especially for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc." by dictionary.com. I wanted a day with no obligations. I wanted to take a day to myself, pack a picnic, head out to a park, and just write what came to me. I wanted to just sit and let all the stress leave me. Correction--I still want all of that!
Part of the problem is probably the fact that I recently read Stargirl. It's supposed to be a young-adult classic and my friend Emilee recommended it, so I decided I would try it. The main character is so carefree, and she often meditates in the middle of the desert. I loved it, even though the ending wasn't quite what I would have done. So now I want to take time existing as a part of nature like Stargirl teaches Leo to do. I got it into my head that my writing would be better if I could do this. I also got it into it that inspiration would blow the block I have come to out of the water.
I had so much time to just sit and write this summer, and it was fantastic! But that time is greatly seized and polluted by the responsibilities of school, and there is so little time to just write without having to think about study guides, finals, or research papers. It's rather difficult to immerse myself in the 1899 world of my characters when all I can think about is studying on my laptop.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy school--I just wish more time existed for me to write. But this Spring Break (4.5 weeks, folks!) I shall be down in Vegas with the Family, and I think I will take a sabbatical there. And, if needed before, I can take a Saturday sabbatical.
I really have no idea where the Icee craving came from.
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